Mar. 14th, 2001



Last night was stupid. I had a really stressful day at work, meetings most of the day and then stupid me decided to go swimming after work.

(46 lengths, 1380m, in half an hour. It's going to be a while before I can manage 100 in an hour, it seems)

Then I went out and got plastered. I should have eaten first. I met up with my new friend called Simon and later Ciaran. We went to The Intrepid Fox which is a wonderful dark gothy metally pub, if sooo expensive, and then somewhere else which took us ages to find and was alright but nothing special.

Drinking on an empty stomach without food was stupid enough. Of course, I'd forgotten that I no longer have a bed, so trying to sleep on the floor was order of the day. I failed.

So, today I feel wonderful.

see the sea wants to take me, the knife wants to cut me, do you think you can help me?

(I love everyone who has replied to or emailed about these stupid, self-indulgent posts. Please know I appreciate so much every single word. I can't help not deserving you all, but thank you all.)
Today has not been a good day.

I am tired. I am lonely.

I did not go swimming.

What do you want to do most?

"I want to



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